Loco

I just read some of your email regarding the boobies out loud to some of my fellow crew. It seemed suitable as yesterday we experienced the full stupidity, and indeed stubborn nature of this incredibly dopey bird. As your description pointed out, these are a species which loves to plant itself on passing ships, probably to get a welcome respite from hours of air time, and it seems that the boom of the Esprit was just a good a place as any to take a break. Little did this bird, who we nicknamed Phil for no reason in particular, (although now I come to think of it he did have a kind of Phil Collins-esque face) know that his perch was not a safe haven. I don’t mind the bird, says Michael, our captain, so long as it doesn’t shit on the deck.

Theatrical timing came into play and within seconds of the words escaping his mouth Phil relieved himself onto the roof of the cockpit, spattering the newly washed deck with his offering. To say that Michael was unimpressed is an understatement and he subsequently spent the best part of an hour chasing this bemused animal around the deck, hose in hand, frantically spraying me, my clean laundry, the sails, the rest of the crew and himself in an attempt to set Phil in flight. Each success was short lived as the bird, less stupid than we originally thought, did a full circle and promptly returned to sun himself on another corner of the boat. As I’m sure you can imagine this provided a welcome distraction from the tedium of sailing, and increased the number of things to look at from 3 (boat, sea and sky) to four (+ Phil the boobie bird).
Today I baked more bread. This trip is turning me into a regular housewife. All very well to pass the time for now but if the crew think this will continue once there’s land in sight they’ve got another thing coming.

In other news:

Michael practised shouting “land ahoy” today. I would give him 7 out of 10, but he has a week to perfect his style so there’s plenty of room for improvement.

A flying fish flew straight into the window of the cockpit last night, then rebounded off the plastic thus projecting itself back into the water. Quite a party trick I’d say. Also, small squid things keep appearing on the deck, edible you think?

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